I am not who my children think I am.
Who am I?
What have I become?
They were too young when I was the person I want them to remember.
How come I am not that person any more? No energy? Burnt out?
Who am I?
I am a child of God.
What do I want my children to remember me as?
Utmost, as someone who is a child of God?
What next?
They do not know?
How do I tap inside myself to become that person again?
How do I let them know?
How do I make them realize that I am only changing because of age and time?
How do I teach them how I want them to be when I am not that person anymore?
How do I become that person again, or is that all gone?
My oldest son is currently "finding himself."
I am feeling an introspective learning moment about age right now.
He is becoming who I was. I think so.
And I am becoming someone else. The next age?
I am learning about the stages of life and cannot put it into words.
God, give me the words, please!
Am I becoming my father?
Am I becoming my grandparents?
As they were at this age?
What more is to come that I should know about?
What could they have prepared me for?
Who am I?
I am a child of God.
And that is all that matters.
Thanks for reading my introspective babbling. Maybe it will help others know they are not alone at this stage of life.
Where have "I" gone. Who am I? It's a life long question.
5/18/2007