Psalm 139: 17, 18
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.
Have you ever felt alone in a room full of people?
I can sit or stand quietly and watch everyone else chattering with each other while I sit alone and not one person will come up to me to talk. It really hits hard to deepen the low self-esteem problem. It feels as if no one cares about me or even cares enough about me to talk to me. Yet everyone else seems to be a part of one section of the crowd or another. Everyone, but me.
I can even stand, crying, in a room full of people and no one will talk to me. Do they just not notice or are they afraid to say something and avoid me?
However, God's thoughts are vast. He loves each and every person in that room and has many thoughts about each and every one of them, including me. It's just hard to remember that sometimes and to be comforted by the knowledge of how much God thinks about me. Whereas other may not think much about me, He thinks the world of me.
As I look at the photo of the grands of sand, I observe how many little bitty particles are in such a small area. Then to reflect on how far the sands of the world extend, multiplying the grains in that small area to numbers unimaginable, it seems incomprehensible. However, as the Psalm says, God's thoughts would outnumber even these grains of sand. His love and thoughts of all of us are totally incomprehensible.
What helps me most to get through moments like these is to flip the perspective. For every time I feel this way, how many other people are out there feeling the same way as I do? Just as people do not see me and my pain, certainly others look normal to me and I do not see their pain or reach out to them. Realizing that others feel the same way I do makes me feel better. Realizing that I have a responsibility to reach out to others gives me a purpose and makes me feel better.
As Brandon Heath's song indicates, I pray that God could give me His eyes so that I can see those people who are blending into everyday life that are hurting. I pray for a heart for the broken-hearted, wisdom, and bravery to be able to reach out, not in shyness, but boldness, to those that need it the most. Who knows - - maybe I may be the one person to make a difference in their day (or maybe even their life).
What am I missing? What am I not seeing? What am I neglecting to do?
*First published June 15, 2009
The God who made the firmament,
Who made the deepest sea,
The God who put the stars in place
Is the God who cares for me. —Berg
Watch this Brandon Heath music video called "Give me your Eyes
Looked down from a broken sky
Traced out by the city lights
My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight
Touched down on the cold black top
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breath in the familiar shock
Of confusion and chaos
All those people going somewhere,
Why have I never cared?
Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
Ones that are far beyond my reach.
Give me your heart for the ones forgotten
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Step out on a busy street
See a girl and our eyes meet
Does her best to smile at me
To hide what's underneath
There's a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie
Too ashamed to tell his wife
He's out of work
He's buying time
All those people going somewhere
I've been there a million times
A couple of million eyes
Just moving past me by
I swear I never thought that I was wrong
Well I want a second glance
So give me a second chance
To see the way you see the people all along