Things that motherhood certainly teaches and parents everywhere learn every day:
Kids have a short attention span for almost everything but TV.
Bad habits are acquired very quickly, while the good ones take ages to instill.
No matter how late your child stays up, and how late he usually sleeps on weekdays, he will never sleep late on a weekend.
If it can spill, it will.
No matter how you butter the toast, cut the apple or peel the banana, if you don't first ask your child how she wants it served this time, you'll undoubtedly do it the wrong way and your child will refuse to eat it.
Your child may eat nothing but peanut butter sandwiches for three meals a day, but one day he will look at the sandwich you just made and say, "Yech! I hate peanut butter!" Guaranteed, that will be the day you're already late for school and there's nothing else in the house. (Of course, it will also be the day after you bought a dozen jars of peanut butter on sale).
Your child will become very forgetful when you ask her to do something for you; but promise her a treat or surprise and she'll suddenly develop the memory of an elephant.
Your child will rarely come home from school or camp with the same clothes, toys or lunchbox that you sent him with in the morning.
The more money you spend on an educational toy, the more likely it is that your child will be more interested in playing with the box that it came in.
If you slip once and say a four_letter word, it will instantly become your emerging_talker's favorite word; plus she will pick the most inappropriate times to repeat it.
A white shirt only stays pure white for the first five minutes after you put it on a child under the age of 10.
When you're away from home, you may think you've brought everything but the kitchen sink with you, but your child will want the one thing you forgot.
If you're on a long car trip with more than one child, they will never have to use the bathroom at the same time.
If it can be taken apart by a child, it will, and the one piece that makes it work will be missing when you try to put it back together again.
The book that you find most annoying will become your child's favorite and you'll have to read it several times every night. (This also holds true for Barney videos.)
Say "Watch out!" or "Be Careful!" to a child and watch him try exactly what you just advised against.
If your child brings home one glitter picture her whole life, you will keep finding the sparkly stuff in the house for years to come.
The pockets in your child's pants that you check before doing the wash, will be empty. The ones that you missed will contain already-chewed gum; tissues; clay, crayons and other messy objects that will completely ruin all the other clothes in the washing machine.
If the house is silent when your child is awake, he's probably up to something.
Author Unknown