2/8/15 Lord, yesterday I invited my Facebook friends to a special listing to receive posts linking to my blog about Christian graphics, writings, and songs that I share. I am nervous about it. Yes, some of the "real me" friends and family know where my blog is and follow my Facebook "page," but I rarely see them here on the blog. I think I am always afraid for the "real me" to meet the "internet me" for fear of being judged. I have enjoyed many years keeping them separate, feeling more free in writing and my posts for strangers to read them than people I might have to meet again in person. Strangers can mosey on along and not return if they do not like me. People in real life I have to face.
Freedom is something different to each person and for me freedom is just "being me" and freedom from not worrying what people think about me. I know the only person I need to please is You, Lord. You do not look at the outward appearance, but only the heart. (1 Samuel 16:7) Yes, I'm fat, but I've accepted this skin a long time ago and do not care what others think about my size or what I wear.
However, my words, the things I say, the expressions on my face, how attentive I am to others when they talk, and the things I do are also outward appearances. These are the things I tend to get hung up on when face to face with another. Are my words and my expressions and my actions being read by the other to match what is in my heart? Sometimes my insecurities themselves cause my outward appearances to give false indications.
How else will people know my heart but by my words, expressions, and actions? They cannot see my heart as You can see it, Lord.
Lord, I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. (Psalm 139:14) I am confident that what You see in my heart is good and that all that matters is that I please You. Help me to know that my outward words, expressions, and actions are pleasing to You also, Lord, and give me the quick thinking and wisdom to make them just what You need them to be when face to face to fulfill Your purpose. Help me to feel free from worrying about what other's think so I can just "be me" and enjoy this life and all the beauty in it which You so graciously have given.